Hey Honey,

I am so excited to share my latest published essay with everyone! This one was inspired by a comment a friend made at dinner a few years back. We were talking about what a picky eater our oldest kid was, and our friend said: “If I had kids, I just wouldn’t let them be picky.” And I remember thinking: Oh yes, I was an amazing parent before I had kids, too.

Here’s an excerpt:

7pm: The kids will clean up their toys without being asked, then say: “We’re tired, can we please go to bed?” And we’ll say “Of course, my angels,” and brush their teeth without having to wrestle them like wild raccoons, because they won’t want gum disease either.

8pm: After lights out, our sweet offspring will drift off peacefully like sleepy bunnies, and literally every other species on the planet, instead of screaming bloody murder until the neighbors call the cops because we either did, or did not, put Mr. Fluffbottom The Bear next to their pillow.

9pm: My spouse and I will enjoy a nice quiet evening by ourselves, playing a game or watching a movie or whatever it is grown-ups do in the bedroom when they aren’t exhausted.

You are can read the whole essay over on Jane Austen’s Wastebasket. The comments so far have been hilarious. Apparently I’ve struck a nerve with lots of other parents! Here are a few of my favorites:

“This was hilarious and painfully relatable! Before kids: 'I'll wake up early, have a peaceful coffee, and be super productive.' After kids: 'Survival mode activated.' Amazing how quickly expectations vs. reality hit us, right? Loved this piece!”

“Standing O from me. I remember thinking my car floor would never be littered with food packaging and/or food, and that I’d never let wet Cheerios dry on the high chair tray. lol forever”

“oh man, this hits home! For me it was Central Park walks before 9am (when dogs can run off leash-- what fun to watch!), and daily yoga-- mommy and me! I didn't realize it takes approximately eight hours to exit the house on a given day, and if I get on the ground to attempt a workout, a baby will almost certainly come sit on my head”

One of the best things about sharing my writing with others is realizing I’m not alone. Somehow, the responses always takes me by surprise!

Thank you, once again, for letting me share our parenting journey with the world. I adored working with this publication and editor, so there may be more coming your way soon…

Love,

Nicole